The Rest of the Story

I awake while it is yet dark and am now preparing food for all of my maidservants.  Yes, it's a tough life, but such is the load all of us Proverbs 31 women must bare.

And here is the rest of the story.

Oh, I'm up, but it's more or less facing the dirty dishes from last night, when all of us were literally too exhausted to even try.  And I already want to choke a little dog, who couldn't possibly be bothered this morning to face the 95 percent humidity and itchy grass outside to do her business, who left me a little present on my newish family room rug.  It wasn't even the rug by the door, which is somewhat excusable.  And she is now sleeping in my son's bed, all comfy and cozy.  Do I sneak in the room, choke her just a little, shove her nose in the wet spot and shame her all the way to her not as cozy and comfy crate?  Or do I just murmur about whether or not dog choking is ethical in the early morning hours and clean it up.

And then there is the highly emotional subject of coffee.  Do I drink the small pot of coffee that was all I could manage for my maid servants with the remaining coffee grounds, and brave the humidity and itchy grass and trek to the nearest grocery store for more?  Or do I just sip on my day-old, microwaved cup so as to save enough for the hubs?  And do I use the last of the half and half, or suffer through milk in my coffee and share?

These life-altering decisions are already facing me today, and it's not even light out.  Because I really do want to wake a little naughty dog and choke her just a little.  And I really do want the coffee.  And the half and half.  And I really do want to rattle the dishes while I unload and load the dishwasher, because all of the sleeping people in the house could have helped with them last night.

And then I read today's prompt word, "REST."

Darn.

My mental "To-Do" list wants to voraciously argue with that word.  Because who has time for that, really?  And yet, I know that yesterday's crazy, hard day has left us all a little weary.

Even a naughty dog. (So many bugs and lizards needed immediate attention.)
Even tired, sleeping people.
Even me.

So, I sit here, drinking yesterday's coffee, with only half of the remaining half and half in it. And I contemplate how I can do rest today.

Because we all need it.  And my Heavenly Father, not only allows it, He recommends it.

"Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matthew 11:28-29 NLT)

The Foggy Road

Have you ever had a surge of emotions so profound, your immediate reaction was to break down and cry?  You can’t really describe it to someone at the time.  They want to know if you’re sad, or lonely, or whatever. And you shake your head no, but the words aren’t there yet.  You haven’t had the time to process it enough to give the huge feelings the luxury of words.

That was me, recently.

We had just finished our church business meeting on a Sunday evening, a meeting to elect our new senior pastor, one who would step into the role my husband had held for the past sixteen years.  It was a joyous occasion. He and his family had been with us serving as youth pastors the entire time.  My husband had helped mentor him, and it was our hope that he and his family would step in and take our place leading this amazing group of people in a small town in the heart of Central Florida.  

It was the culmination of a plan we had been talking about, praying about, thinking about for over a year.  Our assignment here was finished, and we knew it was time to pass the torch and run in a new direction.  

Our friend had shared his heart and vision beautifully.  Our people were in full unity.  He had gone into the back room with his wife and five kids to wait while the ballots were cast.  We all checked yes on the small slips of paper, and within minutes the news came that indeed, he had been unanimously elected as our church’s new senior pastor.

Someone opened the door to the back room and they poured out, all grins and smiles, as they were proclaimed the new senior pastor and family for our church.  Everyone stood, applauded, and cheered.

And then I broke.  Deep, unattractive sobs.  And It looked bad.  It looked like I wasn’t part of the cheering section.  It looked like I was not rejoicing with them.

But there was something that no one had caught.  Not even me until that moment.  Because our family had poured out of that same door almost exactly sixteen years before.  We had walked into the same sanctuary and stood on the same platform as they announced us the new pastors.  But our kids weren’t all smiles and grins then.  They were shell-shocked.  My oldest daughter was standing and crying, obviously not tears of joy.  Our kids could not see ahead to the amazing years that were before them in this wonderful place.  All they knew is what they would lose.  Their friends, their beautiful new home, their cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents living nearby. Everything they were leaving was in clear view. All they would gain was still hidden.

And I think that’s where I am right now. Standing on an unfamiliar platform.  People are cheering for us, excited for our new venture.  And all I can see are the friends and the family and the home we are saying good-bye to. Yet the One who has brilliantly led us here is still the One who will lead us on the next leg of our journey.

Why wouldn’t He?  

Looking back, the road has not been smooth and straight.  There have been so many twists and turns, hardships, and hurts.  But there have been many, many hilltops as well.  These friends and loved ones had travelled the road with us, the same road that brought us to where we are today.  But the road parts now, and we will travel in one direction, and they another.  

The One who will travel with us the next leg of our journey gave me a little sign that night as we were gathered together praying for this precious new pastor family.  I had just turned on my phone, and sure enough, on cue, in the middle of the prayer it went off.  I grabbed it to quickly turn off the sound, and looked down.

It was my daughter calling.  The one who lived in the same town we were moving to in a few days.  It was a little sign, just for me.  He was still with us.  Still traveling on the new road we were beginning. A road that looks really foggy and dim now. A road that promises new joys, triumphs, ups, downs, twists and turns.  

I would like to think of Him as the Great Chauffeur.  And it’s going to be a glorious ride, because of the One who is behind the wheel.

 

The Roller Coaster of Graduation

Today's Five Minute Friday prompt word is quite appropriately, "miss."  Join us if you like at katemotaung.com


The month of May is one of my favorite times of the year.  The cold weather is behind us, the sweltering days of summer have yet to arrive.  May is the month of promise, when high school and college seniors graduate, school children are promoted, love-struck couples recite vows to each other, and summer vacation lies ahead.

There is nothing quite like the feeling of completing a chapter in your life and beginning a new one. It's kind of like riding a roller coaster.  You know it will be exciting, you understand that others have gone before you and survived, yet the inevitable twists and turns and sudden drops keep your heart racing, simultaneously feeling love, hate, excitement, and in a sense, dread.

Ironically, my husband and I are experiencing a sort of graduation ourselves right now. After much planning, praying, discussing, and waiting, he announced to our church last week that he would soon be stepping down as senior pastor of the church we have loved and led for the past sixteen years.

The time was right.  As difficult as the announcement was, knowing what we needed to do and not following through would be disobedience to the plan the Lord has for us.  What we weren't expecting was the sudden surge of emotions that the thought of saying good-bye to our church family would bring.

In order to take on a new venture, there is always a trade-off.  You cannot change and yet remain the same.  Saying hello to a new occupation, a new home, a new city, a new church, means saying good-bye to what we have known and loved and grown accustomed to. It feels like a ripping, a tearing.  Those old wine-skins are so soft and comfortable. The old feels better right now.  

All at once, center and front were the dear faces of those we would miss.  They represented years of our lives, all stacked together.  We saw faces of those whose marriages were about to fall apart, yet in His mercy were restored.  We saw children who hadn't even been born when we began.  Those we had taken into our home, who found security, found their footing, and now have careers and families of their own.  Those who have grown in their love and service to the Lord. Those who were lost, who found the Lord and are now born again and new. It was like looking at a motion picture of our lives set on fast forward.  

We are graduating, and the only clear picture we see is the one in our rear view mirror. The road ahead looks bumpy and full of twists and turns and drops, and it would be so easy to get off this roller coaster and go back to the predictable, familiar place we had known.  

"For now, we can only see a dim and blurry picture of things, as when we stare into polished metal. I realize that everything I know is only part of the big picture. But one day, when Jesus arrives, we will see clearly, face-to-face."(1 Corinthians 13:12 The Voice)

We don't know what the future holds. But we know Who holds the future.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." ( 2 Cor. 4:18 NIV)

Choosing Simple Over Easy

I picked up a hitchhiker this week.

She was a tiny, petite little thing.  Overall pretty dirty, and she didn't smell very nice.  She asked if we were heading North, and, actually we were.  I had Steven, a co-worker with me, a 23 year old strong, weight-lifting type young man, so I thought it would be okay.  Besides, something about her confidence and straightforward way of asking took me off-guard.  I really couldn't think of a reason why not, so I said yes.  I had just read a blog that morning about Bob Goff, the author of Love Does, who took his friends on various "capers," adventures where they could find ways to bless people.

So I thought of this as my very first caper.

She plopped into the back seat of our very packed SUV, along with her "little" dog Venus, an over-gown sweet mutt she had picked up along the way, who rode with her, sprawled out on her back, enjoying the ride. It seemed in Venus' five short months on this earth, she had experienced a life of capers, traveling across the entire country, visiting friends, concerts, festivals, and circuses.

I had to know what motivated her to choose this lifestyle.  Steven and I took turns asking the obvious questions she'd answered many times before, yet she took great joy in sharing her story.

She had been a soccer star during high school, so talented that it had earned her a full ride scholarship.  She had played during college while finishing her degree in Special Ed, literally burning the candle at both ends between school and soccer.  People kept telling her not to ever stop playing soccer, she was so talented, so she didn't.  Eventually she realized that all of her hard work landed her in a profession that didn't pay well.  There isn't much interest in female professional soccer in our country, she said.  She was tired, burnt out, disenchanted.  She knew there was more to her than just being a soccer player or PE teacher, but she'd never had the time to discover it.

So, she hit the road, the road of self-discovery.  She chose a simple life with very few obligations, save to take care of little Venus.  And she learned the art of being direct and asking for help. Backpack and a few clothes with her, she worked wherever she landed, sometimes sleeping on floors of buildings or homes, sometimes sleeping in her hammock with Venus outside.  Florida was tough, she said with all of the bugs and insects.  She had been snowboarding in Colorado, sight-seeing in California with a friend, working festivals in North Carolina, waiting tables in tourist-laden islands. It really wasn't an easy life. It's not easy trying to plan your next meal.  It's not easy setting up a hammock in the dark of a deserted forest.  Not easy asking strangers for rides to your next destination.

But it is simple.

I asked if it was difficult to make the change, to initially drop everything and just hit the road by herself.  I couldn't imagine doing it.  I couldn't imagine not having responsibilities, not having my loved ones around me, not really having a plan for the day or week.

She said it hadn't been for her, since she now had the time to try new hobbies and crafts, perfect some kind of juggling skill that now made her money in many shows.  It involved strings and glass balls, and eventually fire.  She's asked all the time to join traveling shows and circuses with her acquired skill, but she says no.  It would put her right back into the 9 to 5 job she had just escaped.  It would tie her hands so she wouldn't be able to explore other hidden talents she had but didn't realize yet.

In my attempt to help her, to bless her, she got me thinking.  How much have I missed throughout my life by taking the predictable path that seemed easy, but became stressful, and complicated?

How do I simplify to that I can allow the Lord to mold me and change me?  What are the hidden talents I possess that I have been too busy to discover?

What about you?
Do you need to start asking new questions?
Go on a caper or two?
Choose simple over easy?

Reflections on The Road Not Taken

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

--"The Road Not Taken," by Robert Frost

It's too bad I studied this poem in grade school as a simple exercise in poetry appreciation.  I surely did not appreciate it then as I do now.  

Have you ever wondered how your life would have turned out had you taken a different path?  Maybe chosen a different profession.  Married your high school or college sweetheart?  Decided to have more children, or maybe less?  Followed your dream rather than taken the safe route?  

I do.  Lately I wonder where I would be now had I not decided at the somewhat tender age of 16 to follow Jesus.  Surely I didn't know the ramifications then.  I wonder if I really do now.  

What would it have been like to ride the roller coaster of life, not knowing that there was Someone guiding me, having my back, so to speak?  What would my temperament be,  constantly living in the guilt of really bad decisions?  Would I have bounced through  relationship after relationship, packing my bags of fear, guilt, and shame higher and higher?  Would my load have been so heavy that I may have quit?

Really not sure, but, wow, what a thought.  The Bible teaches us to pause and reflect.  To number our days.  To consider our ways, learn from past mistakes.

When I pause and reflect on the roads I have taken, it gives me a surge of gratitude.   I have been given so much.  And I really do believe that it is not so much the individual  choices made, all stacked together that have determined  my place today, as much as the One I have had guiding my steps.  

Psalm 37:23 puts it this way:

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly.

    He delights in every detail of their lives."

He truly has made all the difference.

One Truth, One Lie--An Easter Story

If you ever want to get a group of people talking when the atmosphere is quiet and slightly uncomfortable, play a game called One Truth, One Lie.  Each person in the room has to come up with two facts about themselves, one that is unknown but completely true, the other a total lie.  Everyone else tries to determine which fact is true, and which is totally fabricated.  The result is usually a lot of laughter, and some insight into the lives of people you most likely wouldn't have had in normal conversation.  Try it, it's really fun!

Today is Easter, or better put, Resurrection Sunday.  As I do about Christmas, I struggle with the Easter holiday as it is celebrated in our culture.  I made a late-night excursion to our local Walmart last night and was so hit with the huge commercial enterprise Easter has become.

I don't know about you, but nothing screams Happy Easter louder for me than multi-colored Peeps in a Spiderman Easter bucket, along with Ninja Turtles eggs nestled in with an Avenger action figure. Sprinkle in some Jolly Rancher jelly beans and orange M&M's in a carrot-shaped wrapper, and you have a feast fit for a prince.   I need therapy.

Oh, and don't forget the huge bunny or egg-shaped pinata.  No Easter would be complete without blindfolded children hitting a rabbit with a stick so they can dive on even more candy.  How have I never thought about doing that until now?  Must be a second-rate Easter celebrator.

What the what?

There's something much bigger here.  We have settled for a lie.  We have accepted the wrapper because it's so colorful and full of promises and have tried to unwrap it and there is nothing inside. The lie boasts that it's okay that the most important christian  holiday (holy day) of the year has turned into a big charade about rabbits and eggs and candy.  That is it?  Where is the promise in that?

The HUGE promise of new life, of hope, of a Spring in our lives has been trampled on by a huge rabbit carrying a basket of eggs.  And we know it and do it anyway.

I overheard my husband talking on the phone to someone last night who wants him to perform their wedding ceremony.  He asked what they've been up to since their counseling sessions, why they had stopped coming to church.  I overheard him politely trying to convince them to bring their children to church on Easter.  Company in town?   That's okay, bring them too.  It's Easter!  Sadly, it's obvious they had no intention of celebrating the Resurrection.  It will be a day focused on  candy, the bunny, the food.

The lie shouts from the aisles of the department stores," This is it!  This is all there is, so eat chocolate! Hunt for eggs! Buy a new toy! Wear the new clothes!"  

And when it's all over, if you're not careful,  you will be right where you are right now--searching for answers for pain and struggle, hope for tomorrow, a reason to live.

There is truth, my friend. But you won't find it in the holiday aisle of your department store.  Jesus died on a cross 2,016 years ago to prove to you that this life is not the end.  There is meaning in your existence, there is purpose in your struggle, there is a future for you.  You can have all these things, but there is a catch.

The catch is that you need to come to God on His terms. You don't get to play multiple choice with His commandments.  He paid the ultimate price by giving His only Son to suffer and die on a cross as a gift to you and I.  A Son who paid with His life a penalty for sin that we could not pay.  Give your life to Him, follow Him, make Him number one in your life and you will find a miracle of truth that you didn't even know was there.

The God of the universe who created you loves you, and has a purpose for your life.  Why not start today and embrace the truth of the Resurrection!

Light From Darkness

Today's Five Minute Friday prompt word is Alive.  Join us if you like at katemotaung.com

Go!

I love the fact that the Resurrection happened in the Spring.  It's just so fitting. New Life is possible because of the Resurrection.  Today is Good Friday.  I have mixed feelings about this day.  I think about the Scriptures where Mary and the other women went to the tomb where Jesus was laid and an angel greeted them instead.  The angel's words were--

"Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; He is risen!"

He is alive!

Instead of focusing on His death, it makes more sense to concentrate on the Resurrection.
But, can you have a resurrection without death?

My 18 year old daughter literally hates sad books and sad movies.  For some reason she is okay with sad songs.  Her logic is, "why would I want to waste my time reading or watching something that has a terrible ending?"

And wouldn't it be wonderful if life was like that?  Only focus on positive things and nothing negative would happen.  Except, that's not real life, is it?

Any good artist knows that in order to paint light you need darkness to contrast it.  Otherwise you would have a very boring, bland piece of artwork.  You need darkness to see light.  A novelist knows it as well.  He needs to create conflict in order for there to be a resolution.  A tragedy so there can be a hero.

We need to pause and reflect on death in order to appreciate life.  Jesus' horrible painful death made the resurrection possible.  God became flesh and gave himself as a sacrifice because nothing else would pay the penalty for sinful mankind.

I think about friends who are hurting right now. Friends who have lost loved ones, who are suffering in their bodies, those who are facing really, really difficult life situations, and it looks really dark for them.  I wish I could just paint light in their lives and take away their hurt and pain. But this I know.  They will not always feel pain, they will not always be in darkness.  And when their miracles come, they will appreciate them so much more for having walked through the darkness.  Some will receive their miracles here on earth; others will see them on the other side of Heaven.  This I do know for sure--there will be light; there will be life; there will be joy again. All because of the Resurrection.